Tales of Hamster Wheels, Birthday Candles and Knitting Needles

Happy Birthday to Me

My birthday is December 9. I celebrate pretty simply: ice cream, a gift from myself (this year it is a practical non-mom purse from REI) and a tally. Each year I tally a list of things I want to do in the upcoming year. Twenty tasks for a twenty year old. Thirty tasks for a thirty year old and so on. When I was in my 20’s the list was pretty amusing; all things that were totally doable for a young, wide-eyed professional convinced she could conquer the world.

This year. Hmm. I am a bit stumped.

I was on twitter this week and came across a bit of a blog challenge by Gwen Bell. The task? Write for each day of December on some pre-selected topics to really look back on your year and reflect. Sounds perfect for a lost birthday girl.

Today’s topic: What challenged you and brought you to your edge?

Let the games begin.

This year has been “interesting” to the say the least. We started 2009 in another city, with a horrible commute that allowed for very little family time. My husband and I were grumpy but we didn’t know what to do. I really felt like a hamster caught in a wheel; I was totally aware I was the hamster yet unable to jump. The wheel was my prison and safety zone.

Months went by and then at work I found out that after four years my entire department was being “dissolved.” I love that. “Dissolved.” Like you can just add water and see me fall into little molecular bits before being washed away without any trace of me ever existing. How very Jane Austen.

So, we downsized, moved, changed schools for our son and reinvented our lives. And the suprising result? We are much happier as individuals and as a family. I am able to fully appreciate the small things in life, like the fall colors, being with my son as a room helper and being goofy with my husband.

It’s my birthday. And that is why I have writers block. With 2009 being such a crazy year, how can I possibly make some plans for 2010?  If anything, I have learned that the best laid plans are often thrown out the window. But one thing is certain. I am adding “learning to knit” back to my tally list. That is rolling over for the third year now and I am determined to cross that one off the list.

2 responses to this post.

  1. out of something that could have been taken as a tragedy, you have created a brand new life – such courage it takes to do that! you will never regret that decision!


  2. Thank you for the comment. It is still a battle some days, but overall life is much better!


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